Family matters

When a child is diagnosed with arthritis it can affect the whole family, not just the child themselves. The psychological and social impact of arthritis will define the family, for good and for bad.

Parents

Many people assume arthritis is something which only affects older people, so for a parent to have a child diagnosed with it, often just doesn’t make sense.

As with any major diagnosis, the parent will feel a range of emotional responses which includes:

• guilt
• fear
• confusion
• disbelief
• anxiety

Parents often feel guilty, as if their child’s arthritis is somehow their fault. It’s no one’s fault, but it is common to feel helpless – it can be very upsetting to see a child in pain and not be able to take the pain away.

The parenting role can be very daunting if there is one child demanding much more time than other siblings because of a physical condition. Ensuring that no child feels neglected is a very difficult balance to strike. Parents also have a responsibility to ensure other people, like teachers, know what having arthritis means for a child.

There are many organisations to support parents and families of young people with arthritis, such as Contact a Family, a national charity supporting parents of disabled children, and Choices a support group for families of children with arthritis.

Siblings

Having arthritis means a lot of trips to the doctor or rheumatologist. It can mean surgery, special adaptations, and might mean occasionally having to cancel a trip, event, or even a holiday in the event of a flare-up of the disease.

Brothers and sisters of children with arthritis often feel overshadowed by their sibling’s condition, and the amount of their parent’s time it takes up. This can lead to bickering, arguments and jealousy.

But seeing the day to day reality of living with arthritis can bring siblings closer. Brothers and sisters of children with arthritis tend to be more caring because they see first hand what it is like to live with a painful condition. They are often protective of their sibling, and more thoughtful of others who may be less fortunate.