Body beautiful

Arthritis can affect the way you look. It can be hard to accept that you suddenly have swollen and lumpy looking fingers or that you walk differently to everyone else. Your medication might also cause you to change body shape or gain weight.

Very few people are completely happy with their bodies so try to appreciate what you do have. You might feel that people are always staring at you, but remember that you are probably more conscious of changes to your body than they are – most people are usually more interested in themselves.

Although it might feel uncomfortable, it might be worth explaining your symptoms to your friends – often people stare because they are curious. You can give your friends/teachers Arthritis Care’s publications to read, which will explain arthritis to them.

Clothes to fit

Shopping for clothes and shoes can be frustrating when you have arthritis as there might be things you cannot wear comfortably, such as clothes with fiddly fastenings or shoes with laces. You could always try altering clothes by sewing on Velcro or attaching bigger buttons, or by asking someone to help you do this.

Relationships and sex

You might be worried about how you will find a boyfriend/girlfriend because you look different from your mates or can’t do quite as much as them. Remember that everyone worries about finding someone, whether or not they have arthritis.

Bear in mind that:

• often you will meet someone when you least expect it – try to keep busy and enjoy hanging out with your friends
• taking up a new hobby is a good way of meeting new people – if nothing else you might make a new friend
• confidence is attractive – think positively and people are more likely to warm to you
• if you do meet someone you like, try to be open about your arthritis so that they can understand how you might be feeling

Some people also worry that joint pain will cause problems when having sex. However, there are positions you can comfortably use during sex. See our booklet Relationships, Intimacy and Arthritis for more information.

If you do become sexually active, it is important to practise safe sex and use condoms. Contraception is especially vital if you are on drugs, such as methotrexate, as getting pregnant or fathering a child whilst taking the drug can cause harm to a growing foetus.

It might help you to talk to someone in confidence about these issues, such as your nurse, GP or rheumatologist. If you don’t fancy talking about sex or relationships with them, you can ring or email someone at The Source, Arthritis Care’s helpline for young people.