Later childhood to teens

Some parents with arthritis worry that they are letting their child do too much if they start washing and dressing themselves and helping around the house. Children of disabled parents do tend to be more resourceful and independent. This should only be a cause for concern if your child seems overly anxious or starts behaving badly.

Disciplining your child does not mean that you need to be able to chase after them. Many parents find that they can control their children very effectively using a particular tone of voice.

School time

Getting the kids out of bed, washed and dressed can be exhausting. Some preparation the night before, like making packed lunches, can help ease the stress of the morning. As your children get older they will learn to do much of this for themselves.

A rota with other parents can help with the journey to school. Even if you are not able to take the kids to school yourself, you may be able to offer help in another way. Being open with other parents and teachers about your condition will help them support your child. It may be daunting to have to ask for help, but you should remember that most parents do need help in some way or other.

Joining the Parents and Teachers Association (PTA) can be a good way of maintaining involvement in your child’s school life as can encouraging them to take part in after school activities.

Days out and holidays

Family days might take some planning ahead and preparation. It is a good idea to find out about access before setting off somewhere. There may be activities that you are unable to do with your child – for example, ice skating – but you could invite friends or siblings to help out.

Teens

As your children reach their teens it is likely that they will become more independent. This can often be a source of disagreement. Almost all parents find it difficult to step back a little, and teenagers are particularly sensitive about how much their parents are seen to control their lives. Most teens do not want to be seen as different from everyone else. This might mean that a teen that was keen to help out mum or dad as a child now distances themselves – this can be hard to accept, but is a natural part of growing up.

Of course, the transition to adolescence will vary from family to family. Some parents find that their relationship strengthens as their teen gets old enough to understand their condition a little better.